learning to get over myself in #28days

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As I sit here thinking about my latest adventure into a group trying to escape mediocrity, I think of several questions. What are the ingredients to success? Why do some achieve while others fail? Now that my goal of finishing a higher education is complete what will be next?

My head is swimming (but not with the mermaids yet) with opportunities, mischief and tied down by responsibility. Some adventures will wait until my youngest (14 year old Sam) is ready to let me go. An exercise prescribed by Sarah Robinson, creator and facilitator of Escaping Mediocrity, is to list 5 people who prevent me from pursuing
what I desire. Next I describe precisely what these people are keeping me from in the first place.

I don’t blame others for my insecurities. They surely exist but for the most part  originate from fear of abandonment and/or rejection. So, instead I wanted to simply skip to part 3 of the exercise and list what I really want to achieve in the next 6-12 months.

another great adventure

 

1. I want to spend more quality time with my family.
2. I want to travel more and work less, while still earning an income.
3. I want to exercise regularly
4. I want to grow professionally.
5. I want to blog more.

It was more intense than I expected thinking of and writing this list. Now that it is officially listed, it is time for strategy and action. If I were able to choose one desire off the list that spoke to me the loudest it is a combination of 1 and 2. If I were able to work less and travel more, I would also have more time to spend with my family. I believe these come hand in hand.

Step one completed

Each day I am participating in a new exercise in order to escape mediocrity. Join me on this journey of self discovery. What is on your list and what is stopping you from doing it? Share your thoughts and stories.

 

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MBA here I come!

hanging out at the knowledge center

Sitting in the University of Nevada‘s  library knowledge center for the last time as a graduate student feels good. Everything I have worked for has come to a head. I wait impatiently (patience has never been a strong point for me) for my last final to begin tonight. Let me take a trip down memory lane as I reminisce about the past few years…

let’s take a trip back in time together to 1985

I am one of those people who went to college right after high school only to find myself unfocused and unprepared to commit to an education. After two years in school, my future seemed nebulous as I got married at age 20 (yeah I know it is young) started a new life as an entrepreneur, then a mom, single parent, newly remarried, etc, etc.

Fast forward 20 years to 2005 (sound effects should be beeping as we travel in time) First, where did all the time go? I don’t feel that much older. While I was skating through life, my husband completed his MBA and passed all the CPA exams. His accomplishments were amazing. He was amazing.

Yet for all of the admiration, I was bitter that I never finished college. Not completing a degree felt like I was missing something big. As one chapter in life closed (Formals Bridal), another was opening (Miriam Gomberg; student) right in front of me. Rather than sulking or hanging out at the gym, Robert sent me back to school to finish the education I left incomplete 20 years earlier.

In 3 years I had a BS in health science. Did I just do that? Now I was amazing too. I cried like a baby during the graduation ceremony. This was a colossal accomplishments. One problem was that I graduated in 2008 right as the economy was falling apart. Better to stay in school and keep going. After all, if I didn’t continue while in the mode, I probably wouldn’t ever go back again.

what did I get myself into?

Enter the MBA program at UNR. I was fortunate enough to be accepted into the program after taking the GMAT 3 times (yeah, I felt dumb too). The difference was that not only was I a wife, mom and student, but a full time retail manager as well.

It was expected for students to work in the field, but in retail, there is no office in which to do homework during off-times. Long stretches of time are spent on your feet and the hours can be crazy as well. This was to be a bigger challenge than earlier expected.

girls in hoods

Yay! I’m done!!

December 10, 2011 was graduation. It was exhilarating putting on the cap, gown and hood. Funny I didn’t cry at all during this graduation. The past few weeks have been unbearable in that I suffered from an acute case of senioritis.

I always prided myself in the quality of work I presented while in school. College is a privilege, that I did not take for granted. There are not many people who are allowed the chance to return to school after a 20 year hiatus.

lesson learned: I can do anything (with perseverance of course)

A substantial lesson I hope to pass on from this is what it takes to complete something as important as higher education. There were sacrifices I made, along with family and friends in order to make the dream a reality. My children saw how hard I worked for the past several years and that even when I would complain, I never gave up as It was never an option.

So where do I go from here? Which path should I take? At this point, my future is still cloudy. There are no guarantees that people (employers, etc.) will find my  education or services valuable. Just because I graduated, does not mean I will discover a dream career right away. It is all part of the journey, and it fulfilled a personal need to grow. What else could I possibly ask for?

Related articles

• Foreign Enrollment Surges at U.S. B-Schools (businessweek.com)
• Is MBA your ticket to a bright future? (rolipolli.wordpress.com)
• I’m getting an MBA? (travellearnlove.wordpress.com)

Choosing Focus to Gain an Inner Edge

Hair on Fire!

Life is pretty crazy right now. Working 40 hours and being a mom of two and wife of one is more than enough for most people. However, I like to ride with my hair on fire, so I added graduate school (MBA complete December 2011) and buying new house to top it all off.

Lately there is so much happening at once, I find myself becoming fragmented. It all seems so important that I don’t know where to start. Where do I focus my attention? What priorities should I have? I want to find joy in life, but where is the joy and how do I uncover it? How do I slow it all down?

Take a deep Bbreath

Today I practiced a visualization technique learned through The Inner Edge Book Club in order to understand my personal vision. For 20 minutes, I laid down on my bed, closed my eyes and envisioned an ideal future. Simply getting out of my head for 20 minutes was a feat in itself. I gained great insight through this visualization; some already known, some not yet discovered.

What do I want? What do I see?

Seems like straightforward enough questions. The problem is that I am unsure of my abilities and afraid of the unknown. I yearn to feel successful and that I am living up to my potential rather than skating through life.

In the vision, I was reposing in a comfortable office that had my personal stamp on it. There was a window view, and customers/clients who sought me out there. Whatever it was that I offered, I was considered a confident field expert  who provided something of value.

What I know about me:

1.  I have great people skills that I need to leverage
2.  I get to the story and understand what others want
3. I see the big picture in how things work and come together
4. I love interacting with people and don’t want to work alone

 OK, what now?

Next week’s Book Club discusses choosing areas of focus and priorities. Once I am better able to define what I want to achieve, I will be able to find a path to get there. So far it is slow going for me in completing the vision, but I find myself getting closer each day.

One thing I realized it is OK not to know exactly what I want right now. I am learning the art of meaningful action; when to say yes or no. In mapping out the future, I need to simplify things and weed out noise, which is hard to do when a 5-month old puppy is destroying things while I type.

Lesson learned learning: there will always be noise

With inevitable noise, comes choices as to how it affects me. Items such as school, work, kids, puppy, the new Twilight movie, continue no matter what. Will any of them ultimately affect the goal for success? The objective is to learn which ones will and quiet down the rest.

For now, my focus is on finishing the semester and finally graduating. After graduation it will be time to review and refine my vision of success. By taking one thing off the list, it will become more manageable. The rest will have to wait for now.

 

Related articles

• an overwhelming feeling of dread (miriamgomberg.wordpress.com)
• Why did you study MBA (wiki.answers.com)
• Should You Go to Graduate School? (onlinecollege.org)

I want it now!

I am one of the most impatient people I know. No matter which line I choose at the grocery store, I inevitably pick the longest one. It feels as though time slows down and almost goes backwards as other patrons pass by. On the outside, I stay calm and zen-like but my brain secretly performs somersaults as the minutes pass and it is finally my turn.

How long should I wait?

no sense of delayed gratification

Waiting is especially excruciating when I want something badly. Decisions don’t always come easily, but when made, I am ready to go. It has been 3 years since I started work on an MBA, and I hate the anticipation. Urgh!

Yeah, yeah, yeah… Something worthwhile takes time. In all fairness, I have studied, worked hard, written countless papers and sacrificed a social life for the past 3 years. This is my last semester as a grad student and I don’t want to work on it anymore. I want someone to take pity on me and not make me wait.

what now?

As much as I yearn for the now moments, they still freak me out. A few weeks ago, on a lark, my husband Robert began searching the internet for homes owned by Fannie Mae. We are fortunate in that we bought our home almost 15 years ago and are not upside-down in payments or value.

Robert suddenly (there is that delayed gratification thing again) found a great house that is almost twice as large as our current home. It is selling for nearly 1/2 the original price and before I knew it, Poof! We had a pending offer accepted offer and will probably be moving in a month.

be careful what you wish for

Don’t get me wrong. The whole house process thing has been exciting, and I don’t feel as though we are making a mistake, but change is still scary. Thirty days of escrow feels like a year (delayed gratification issues) and the walls in our home seem to be getting smaller and tighter as we wait.

Some of my best decisions, were made quickly. Robert and I met on a cruise in December, and were married in October. I never looked back. Immediately after closing the bridal store I owned and operated for over 14 years, I didn’t hesitate to go back to school and earn a degree.

Well, OK. Actually, Robert sent me back to school kicking and screaming. But, that is another story. The point is that I did not wait to start school. We made the decision and ran with it.

lesson learned: find balance

Is it better to wait? My opinion is, “it depends.” When it comes to delays at the drive-thru or while shopping, waiting stinks. Impatience has its perks in that innovations may never develop if people are always fully satisfied with things as they are.

On the other hand, waiting to earn an MBA rather than paying a degree mill for a fake is worth it. Robert told me that my impatience concerning school means that I am truly ready for graduation.

When all has been accomplished, what will be next? What makes your mind race with impatience? What skills (if any) have you developed over time to combat the impatience? Share your thoughts and stories.

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an overwhelming feeling of dread

Image via Wikipedia

Jane, stop this crazy thing! George Jetson

Do you ever feel like your world is spinning out of control and you can’t find a pause button to stop it all? If not, congratulations, you are extremely well-adjusted! If you are anything like me, you are totally winging it and hope no one will find out you have no idea what you are doing.

Most people think I have it all (believe me, I do).

• I have the best, most fantastic, loving, supportive husband
• My kids are both amazing people who I am proud of
• I am about to complete an MBA in December
• I work for a company that I believe in
• I am lucky enough to surround myself with terrific friends
• I am interning for 2 prominent business women who I respect immensely
• Recently I lost 40 pounds and feel like I have regained my outer mojo
• I get to write it all down and share thoughts and reflections on this blog
• I have health insurance (I don’t take this one lightly at all)
• Oh, and did I mention I just got a new puppy?
• Daisy, cute as a button, long story maybe for another post
• I’m sure there is more, but this list seems long enough for now

Is having it all too much?

Maybe it is a form of senioritis in school, but to tell the truth, I don’t want to do anything right now. Working out at the gym usually helps heal my psyche enough to carry forward, but I don’t have time for that either.

Wait a minute! Don’t have time? It’s more like don’t make time. I know it is unrealistic to expect someone to just give me an advanced degree without putting the work and time into it. I have toiled for the past 3 years and can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Last week, I paid for and applied for graduation (yay!) and plan to walk with my friends down the aisle.

Searching for my inner edge

If I truly have everything, how do I make time for it all, or is it necessary? One of the women I am interning for, Dr. Joelle Jay who wrote a remarkable book, The Inner Edge which gives great insight as to how to learn to lead yourself. There are 10 steps to personal leadership which with any luck,will help me find clarity and enable me to finally hit the pause button and enjoy all I have accomplished (including the new puppy)

Related articles

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A worthwhile day #trust30

enjoying a worthwhile moment on my bike

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let’s face it, there are days which are more worthwhile than others. In the not so recent past, when I felt overly anxious, I would drown out melancholy sitting for hours playing Farmville (nothing worthwhile in the activity). I played until it was dark outside.  Effectively I ignored my family for hours, and was no less stressed as a result of fake farming.

What I consider worthwhile

Prior to beginning the arduous task of completing an MBA while working full time, I frequented the gym an average of 4-5 times per week. Exercising not only helped maintain a healthy body, but it was also a great tension-reliever.

When it warmed outside, my pigtails and lavender helmet were instantly recognizable as I rode my bike around town. I rode with my husband Robert and/or my friends for 40-50 mile rides several times per week. My favorite route began at our house in South Reno and meandered alongside I-80 to Verdi, Nevada. On the trip home we would stop for iced coffee and bask in the glory of our successful excursion.

The Character of a leader

Some light summer reading

There is something about spring that makes me want to re-evaluate life. Maybe its because as the weather  gets warmer, my family digs out all of the crap lying around all winter and donates/throws out/re-organizes things. Maybe because I am nearing the end of my studies in the MBA program at UNR (expected grad. Dec 2011!!). I find it is also a good time to dig deep into my psyche questioning what is really important to me?

Some classics revealed

I am currently taking a management class in summer school where I have been forced to read and read and read…classics such as Heart of Darkness, Death of a Salesman, and (swallow hard here) The Fountainhead. Although each book is written in a different format (novella, play, dreadfully long novel), they all convey a strong core message about leadership. These and other stories portrayed management styles that did not value the employee. The leadership teams rewarded productivity and as soon as the employee was no longer quite so valuable, he was discarded.

As a leader, what is important to you? What qualities do you want to be known for? Are you similar to Willy Loman or Peter Keating who treasured being liked above all? Their sense of self was tied to others perceptions of them. Perhaps you are comparable to Kurtz (hope not) and believe that you are above all rules? Are you void of personality like Howard Roark?

Lesson Learned: discover your style

Personally, I want to be known for being competitive yet fair, authoritative yet empathetic. It all starts from the top. The attributes in which you lead your employees is the way your employees will ultimately behave.

Spring is almost over. It is time for you to reach up, discover your nature and re-evaluate your style. Share your thoughts on leadership styles. What attributes do you believe contribute to a successful leader?

Play up your passion

Passion for Fashion (and feathers)

There seems to be a general theme floating around in the blogosphere  these days regarding putting passion into your blog. Two of the best posts I read were by Mack Collier and Margie Clayman. My interpretation of the take-home message from these and other similar posts is “Duh!” Of course you need to be passionate about what you are writing/doing, or else you will come off as being insincere.

Fake it till you make it

I don’t know about you, but I can’t fake passion. If I am at work learning a new policy or marketing promotion and feel less than enthusiastic about it, the associates sense it. It is vital that I have bought into whatever I am selling. When a new line is inspiring, it is easy to convey passion towards the product, the associates and the customers.

At school, if there is a subject I feel disconnect towards (cough, cough, finance) I can study all day long, but still fail miserably on an exam. Whereas classes perceived as fun such as the personal branding class I just completed, doing assignments becomes less of a grind and the classes are a dream to take. It is so much more fun learning something that I am interested in.