MBA here I come!

hanging out at the knowledge center

Sitting in the University of Nevada‘s  library knowledge center for the last time as a graduate student feels good. Everything I have worked for has come to a head. I wait impatiently (patience has never been a strong point for me) for my last final to begin tonight. Let me take a trip down memory lane as I reminisce about the past few years…

let’s take a trip back in time together to 1985

I am one of those people who went to college right after high school only to find myself unfocused and unprepared to commit to an education. After two years in school, my future seemed nebulous as I got married at age 20 (yeah I know it is young) started a new life as an entrepreneur, then a mom, single parent, newly remarried, etc, etc.

Fast forward 20 years to 2005 (sound effects should be beeping as we travel in time) First, where did all the time go? I don’t feel that much older. While I was skating through life, my husband completed his MBA and passed all the CPA exams. His accomplishments were amazing. He was amazing.

Yet for all of the admiration, I was bitter that I never finished college. Not completing a degree felt like I was missing something big. As one chapter in life closed (Formals Bridal), another was opening (Miriam Gomberg; student) right in front of me. Rather than sulking or hanging out at the gym, Robert sent me back to school to finish the education I left incomplete 20 years earlier.

In 3 years I had a BS in health science. Did I just do that? Now I was amazing too. I cried like a baby during the graduation ceremony. This was a colossal accomplishments. One problem was that I graduated in 2008 right as the economy was falling apart. Better to stay in school and keep going. After all, if I didn’t continue while in the mode, I probably wouldn’t ever go back again.

what did I get myself into?

Enter the MBA program at UNR. I was fortunate enough to be accepted into the program after taking the GMAT 3 times (yeah, I felt dumb too). The difference was that not only was I a wife, mom and student, but a full time retail manager as well.

It was expected for students to work in the field, but in retail, there is no office in which to do homework during off-times. Long stretches of time are spent on your feet and the hours can be crazy as well. This was to be a bigger challenge than earlier expected.

girls in hoods

Yay! I’m done!!

December 10, 2011 was graduation. It was exhilarating putting on the cap, gown and hood. Funny I didn’t cry at all during this graduation. The past few weeks have been unbearable in that I suffered from an acute case of senioritis.

I always prided myself in the quality of work I presented while in school. College is a privilege, that I did not take for granted. There are not many people who are allowed the chance to return to school after a 20 year hiatus.

lesson learned: I can do anything (with perseverance of course)

A substantial lesson I hope to pass on from this is what it takes to complete something as important as higher education. There were sacrifices I made, along with family and friends in order to make the dream a reality. My children saw how hard I worked for the past several years and that even when I would complain, I never gave up as It was never an option.

So where do I go from here? Which path should I take? At this point, my future is still cloudy. There are no guarantees that people (employers, etc.) will find my  education or services valuable. Just because I graduated, does not mean I will discover a dream career right away. It is all part of the journey, and it fulfilled a personal need to grow. What else could I possibly ask for?

Choosing Focus to Gain an Inner Edge

Hair on Fire!

Life is pretty crazy right now. Working 40 hours and being a mom of two and wife of one is more than enough for most people. However, I like to ride with my hair on fire, so I added graduate school (MBA complete December 2011) and buying new house to top it all off.

Lately there is so much happening at once, I find myself becoming fragmented. It all seems so important that I don’t know where to start. Where do I focus my attention? What priorities should I have? I want to find joy in life, but where is the joy and how do I uncover it? How do I slow it all down?

Take a deep Bbreath

Today I practiced a visualization technique learned through The Inner Edge Book Club in order to understand my personal vision. For 20 minutes, I laid down on my bed, closed my eyes and envisioned an ideal future. Simply getting out of my head for 20 minutes was a feat in itself. I gained great insight through this visualization; some already known, some not yet discovered.

What do I want? What do I see?

Seems like straightforward enough questions. The problem is that I am unsure of my abilities and afraid of the unknown. I yearn to feel successful and that I am living up to my potential rather than skating through life.
In the vision, I was reposing in a comfortable office that had my personal stamp on it. There was a window view, and customers/clients who sought me out there. Whatever it was that I offered, I was considered a confident field expert  who provided something of value.
What I know about me:
  1.  I have great people skills that I need to leverage
  2.  I get to the story and understand what others want
  3. I see the big picture in how things work and come together
  4. I love interacting with people and don’t want to work alone

 OK, what now?

Next week’s Book Club discusses choosing areas of focus and priorities. Once I am better able to define what I want to achieve, I will be able to find a path to get there. So far it is slow going for me in completing the vision, but I find myself getting closer each day.

One thing I realized it is OK not to know exactly what I want right now. I am learning the art of meaningful action; when to say yes or no. In mapping out the future, I need to simplify things and weed out noise, which is hard to do when a 5-month old puppy is destroying things while I type.

Lesson learned learning: there will always be noise

With inevitable noise, comes choices as to how it affects me. Items such as school, work, kids, puppy, the new Twilight movie, continue no matter what. Will any of them ultimately affect the goal for success? The objective is to learn which ones will and quiet down the rest.

For now, my focus is on finishing the semester and finally graduating. After graduation it will be time to review and refine my vision of success. By taking one thing off the list, it will become more manageable. The rest will have to wait for now.

 

I want it now!

I am one of the most impatient people I know. No matter which line I choose at the grocery store, I inevitably pick the longest one. It feels as though time slows down and almost goes backwards as other patrons pass by. On the outside, I stay calm and zen-like but my brain secretly performs somersaults as the minutes pass and it is finally my turn.

How long should I wait?

no sense of delayed gratification

Waiting is especially excruciating when I want something badly. Decisions don’t always come easily, but when made, I am ready to go. It has been 3 years since I started work on an MBA, and I hate the anticipation. Urgh!

Yeah, yeah, yeah… Something worthwhile takes time. In all fairness, I have studied, worked hard, written countless papers and sacrificed a social life for the past 3 years. This is my last semester as a grad student and I don’t want to work on it anymore. I want someone to take pity on me and not make me wait.

what now?

As much as I yearn for the now moments, they still freak me out. A few weeks ago, on a lark, my husband Robert began searching the internet for homes owned by Fannie Mae. We are fortunate in that we bought our home almost 15 years ago and are not upside-down in payments or value.

Robert suddenly (there is that delayed gratification thing again) found a great house that is almost twice as large as our current home. It is selling for nearly 1/2 the original price and before I knew it, Poof! We had a pending offer accepted offer and will probably be moving in a month.

be careful what you wish for

Don’t get me wrong. The whole house process thing has been exciting, and I don’t feel as though we are making a mistake, but change is still scary. Thirty days of escrow feels like a year (delayed gratification issues) and the walls in our home seem to be getting smaller and tighter as we wait.

Some of my best decisions, were made quickly. Robert and I met on a cruise in December, and were married in October. I never looked back. Immediately after closing the bridal store I owned and operated for over 14 years, I didn’t hesitate to go back to school and earn a degree.

Well, OK. Actually, Robert sent me back to school kicking and screaming. But, that is another story. The point is that I did not wait to start school. We made the decision and ran with it.

lesson learned: find balance

Is it better to wait? My opinion is, “it depends.” When it comes to delays at the drive-thru or while shopping, waiting stinks. Impatience has its perks in that innovations may never develop if people are always fully satisfied with things as they are.

On the other hand, waiting to earn an MBA rather than paying a degree mill for a fake is worth it. Robert told me that my impatience concerning school means that I am truly ready for graduation.

When all has been accomplished, what will be next? What makes your mind race with impatience? What skills (if any) have you developed over time to combat the impatience? Share your thoughts and stories.

What makes you original? Vlog 2 #trust30

Who didn't want to be like her?

“The arts and inventions of each period are only its costume, and do not invigorate men.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Can anyone say skinny jeans?

What is an original thought? What does it matter if there is such a thing as a cutting edge, original thinker? As a Gen X‘er, I have seen fads and fashions recycle. In high school, I was part of the unconventional “New Wave” movement. For example I dressed in hand-pegged pants that were so tight I had to lay on the bed to get them on or off.

Now, I wear skinnies again. For a modern look, they are no longer acid wash or sit above my navel (eww). Was it original when I wore them in the 80′s? Probably not. If you watch the movie Quadrophenia by The Who (1973), you will see a bunch of mod kids dressing like I did,only 10 years earlier.

In the 80′s, I had big poufy hair held in place with headbands created from toilet paper. This was my homage to the greatest icon of my generation, Madonna. Yup, I used to embarrass mom and dad when I sported this ridiculous hairdo around town. The headbands themselves were not original, but my personal take on a staple was innovative.

Lesson learned: it doesn’t have to be original, just authentic.

It is OK that I may not have groundbreaking thoughts. We can’t all be Madonna, although I wouldn’t mind (she looks fantastic still and continues creating new and original content). What is important is that I remain authentic and unafraid to take chances. Fashion comes and goes, but toilet paper is still with us. :D

Madonna who?


#trust30 prompt: Think of the last time that you thought, said, or did something that was original. What inspired or invigorated this? (Author: Michael Brajkovich)

10 Random Beautiful Moments #trust30


“Every artist was first an amateur.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

a quiet moment with Snoball

Where do you find beauty? Is it relegated strictly to museums and art galleries? Does beauty rely on perfection of form? I am neither an artist nor an art critic. It is not necessary to be either in order to find something extraordinary in the ordinary.

Life becomes so complicated that I am often obsessed  with minutia. Will I get an A on a school project? Am I performing above standard at work? Are all of the sweaters folded neatly? Has the dog been fed? The list seems unending! Amidst the chaos of everyday living, I overlook the beauty in the mundane. Everything holds a valuable place for someone. Because art is not self-evident it is up to me to determine what is appealing. Continue reading

Nothing to fear? My 1st Video-BLOG #trust30

Sam and I have nothing to fear!

 “Self-censorship is not just self-betrayal and self-abandonment (which would be bad enough), but soul-betrayal and betrayal of our Muse, out inner voice, our highest self.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Drum-roll Please…

OK here goes guys! This is my very first ever video post. I have been dreading it for a couple of months now because I knew that I would eventually have to suck it up and do it. One of the pre-requisites for a summer personal branding class I am enrolled in, is that I post at least 5 video posts before the end of class (sometime in August).

I continue to participate in the #trust30 daily prompts where an Emerson quote is used with a self-reliance prompt attached. This has been a journey deep into my psyche and has really helped me realize how much I have to say/write.

The prompt I chose is about having nothing to lose. How would I behave and what would I say if I let go of self -censorship? I like to think that my  inner monologue keeps me (for the most part anyway) out of trouble. The reality is that I do have things to lose and cannot go around speaking and/or acting out every random thought that comes to mind.

I’m so transparent, you can see right through me!

There is a difference between being transparent and inappropriately giving too much information. Because I choose to live my life authentically, there is really nothing to hide. However, this does not mean I have nothing to lose. If I insult my boss, yell at associates and spit on things when I am mad, I will find myself quickly out of a job. If I am rude to my friends and don’t listen to them when they are speaking because I believe what I have to say is more important, I will soon be friendless.

Tell it like it is, but with a sense of discrepancy. I remain a trusted editor professionally because I am not full of crap. I genuinely care about how I affect others and hopefully believe it. There has never been a reason for my integrity to be doubted, therefore I maintain a valued relationship with my peers and subordinates alike.

My soul is not compromised when I don’t blurt out whatever I want, whenever I want to. Be who you were meant to be. Be authentic, and you will have nothing to fear.

#trust30 prompt: Too often we censor ourselves, our actions, and our work in hope or fear of what might happen if we otherwise don’t. What words would you write today, and what actions would you take, if you had nothing to fear, nothing to lose? (Author: Tanner Christensen)

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A worthwhile day #trust30


enjoying a worthwhile moment on my bike

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let’s face it, there are days which are more worthwhile than others. In the not so recent past, when I felt overly anxious, I would drown out melancholy sitting for hours playing Farmville (nothing worthwhile in the activity). I played until it was dark outside.  Effectively I ignored my family for hours, and was no less stressed as a result of fake farming.

What I consider worthwhile

Prior to beginning the arduous task of completing an MBA while working full time, I frequented the gym an average of 4-5 times per week. Exercising not only helped maintain a healthy body, but it was also a great tension-reliever.

When it warmed outside, my pigtails and lavender helmet were instantly recognizable as I rode my bike around town. I rode with my husband Robert and/or my friends for 40-50 mile rides several times per week. My favorite route began at our house in South Reno and meandered alongside I-80 to Verdi, Nevada. On the trip home we would stop for iced coffee and bask in the glory of our successful excursion. Continue reading

Whose fault is it anyway?

Fault and Change by Carlos Miceli

I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of all the things that are not working in your life. That job you don’t like, that relationship that’s not working, those friends that annoy you. Now turn them all on you. Imagine that everything that’s not working in your life, is your fault. How would you approach it? What would you work on to change your life to the state that you want it to be? (Author: Carlos Miceli)

pouty pity party face

If your life isn’t what you want it to be, whose fault is it? (aka welcome to the pity party)

  •  Maybe it is due to your parents shortcomings you have it so bad. After all, they raised you and gave you a sense of right and wrong.
  • What about your (so-called) friends? Are they jealous of you and venture to sabotage your life by annoying you?
  • Your husband/wife/significant other may be bringing you down. It is your job to create his/her/its happiness.
  • Definitely your job’s fault. Whenever things go wrong there is always someone above or below who we can blame.
  • They could all be trying to get you (sound paranoid yet?)

A hard pill to swallow

Time for a reality check. I know you may not believe this or want to hear it, but only you are responsible for your life and happiness! Years of therapy and self-reflection taught me that I am only responsible for my actions and how I react to others. That is life’s dirty secret in a nutshell.

It may sound scary at first, but actually it is quite empowering when you understand that you drive your own bus. You are not a helpless victim, but a powerful individual who is capable of many great things. If your life sucks, do something about it! Continue reading

A moment of alive-ness #trust30

Alive-est by Sam Davidson

where you are most alive?

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. If we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

When did you feel most alive recently? Where were you? What did you smell? What sights and sounds did you experience? Capture that moment on paper and recall that feeling. Then, when it’s time to create something, read your own words to reclaim a sense of being to motivate you to complete a task at hand. (Author: Sam Davidson)

Alive-est in motion?

This prompt was much more difficult than I originally thought it would be. When do I feel alive? At first I tried to imagine what brought me to life at work. Customer experience is like breathing in that it is effortless and natural. I thrive while connecting with internal and external customers, but that is not where I truly feel alive-est.

I love going to school and learning, which is why I am ready to graduate with an MBA this December. I passionately participate in class discussions on a regular basis, but as excited as I may become throughout the process, it is not when I am alive-est either.

Exercise is important to my well-being. If I don’t have time to exercise at least a couple of times each week, I become increasingly stressed. Going to the gym is both time for social interaction and exercise. I chat with friends before, during and after a Body Pump class. Riding my bike with friends or my husband is a blast! But, it is not where I am alive-est. Continue reading

Finding the Extraordinary in the Ordinary

Looking for the (extra)ordinary

What is ordinary? The Oxford English Dictionary defines ordinary as:

with no special or distinctive features; normal : he sets out to depict ordinary people | it was just an ordinary evening.
• uninteresting; commonplace : ordinary items of everyday wear.

Ordinary can also be described as milk-toast, unremarkable or boring. Personally, I relish an ordinary day when work runs smoothly and everything is good in the universe. Unfortunately, many of us are under the assumption that if you are ordinary, you are not special. This prompt asked me to let go of the falsehoods that keep me from true self-reliance. Here is a list of some of  my unfounded expectations.

False comparisons with others

As I have mentioned in other posts, I have a fear that I am not enough. What I mean is that no matter how hard I try, I will never be good enough for the people who matter most to me. Now that I am near completion of my MBA I am forced to think about what my next steps will be professionally.

Do I have what it takes to be successful in the business world? Will I be taken seriously as a skilled business woman? Will I be shut out because my experience is chiefly in retail? Am I too old?

All of these questions are unfair and untrue comparisons to an invisible “other.” There is no real reason why I shouldn’t be taken seriously. I am not too old! I have more experience than most others who are searching for a career.

False expectations of myself

My false expectations tie in with my false comparisons. For example: at my age, I should already have achieved a certain level of success. Another false expectation is that I am not successful unless I have my own office, drive an expensive car and go to the right places.

The truth is that I have lived up to so many of my expectations. I married the right man, I have two amazing children, I am thought of as an expert in the field of customer experience. I started and maintain a blog. It is crucial that I open my eyes to all that I have accomplished rather than what is still missing.

My false investments in a story

Most false investments are based in fear. Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of abandonment. Because of fear, it took me 20 years to finish my undergraduate degree. Fear of being alone kept me from learning to love and accept who I was. Fear of acceptance stifles me still. Why do I continue to be concerned how I am perceived? Why does it matter if I am liked? It is because I am not afraid to ask these questions of myself, that I continue to grow as a leader. I believe that unlocking questions like these will take me to the next level of self reliance.

Most Ordinary by Patti Digh 

Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are our most potent at our most ordinary. And yet most of us discount our “ordinary” because it is, well, ordinary. Or so we believe. But my ordinary is not yours. Three things block us from putting down our clever and picking up our ordinary: false comparisons with others (I’m not as good a writer as _____), false expectations of ourselves (I should be on the NYTimes best seller list or not write at all), and false investments in a story (it’s all been written before, I shouldn’t bother). What are your false comparisons? What are your false expectations? What are your false investments in a story? List them. Each keep you from that internal knowing about which Emerson writes. Each keeps you from making your strong offer to the world. Put down your clever, and pick up your ordinary.

(Author: Patti Digh)