where is the joy?

Most agree that economically speaking, 2011 hit many all-time lows. Being in Nevada meant that we were harder hit than many. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics unemployment rate in Nevada was 13% for 2011, which ranked us as highest in the country. With one in every 115 households facing foreclosure, Nevada also ranks one of the  (if not the most severe) states for foreclosure.

Surrounded by loss, it can be difficult to find a bright point. There seems to be no end in sight to the financial conundrum we find ourselves in. Houses in Reno line the streets with various for sale signs. I know several people who have turned their keys in and walked away from their homes as values dropped by more than half.

wait there is more…

Reno/Tahoe is known as a winter recreational destination. We boast some of the West’s premier ski resorts in the country. To top it all off, there is no snow in the Sierra’s = no skiing = hurts economy even more. Also it is a total bummer when you bought a season’s pass and haven’t been on the mountain yet this year (actually we bought 4; one for each of us).

what lies ahead?

My daughter is currently a junior in college. What opportunity awaits her upon graduation? It is not sufficient to achieve merely a bachelors degree for many professions. Does this mean we will have to support her indefinitely while she continues her education? Probably.

The good news is that by the time she is finally done, the economy should not be so bleak. There is still hope for her future. My own education is a bi-product of the flailing economy as well. Is it really a bad thing when hard times means you take the time to work on yourself?

lesson learned: there is still joy to be found

I may complain about the current situation (especially the total lack of snow!), but the reality is that it can also be a highly productive time for personal growth. In place of snow sports, we are cycling (weird as it is) through the winter months. We can still be active regardless of the weather.

When the housing bubble was at its height a few years back, we decided to stay put in a home we could afford and were comfortable in. Thankfully, my family is in a better financial place because of our restraint. We recently purchased a new home with nearly double the living space of our old one for a bargain price.

I find joy in simple pleasures like enjoying a bottle of wine with friends. Staying home with my husband and kids watching a bad movie on Netflixis a favorite pastime of mine. Blogging has given me a wonderful outlet for spilling my guts. Knowing that when I get up in the morning I am fortunate enough to have a job that I love is joyous as well.

the 3 banana girls enjoying ourselves at Starbucks

It is through adversity that we find out what we are really made of. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I don’t remember who originally told me that gem. As a kid, I used to hate it when people told me this. In my adult form, I finally understand its true meaning. What has tested your capacity to find joy? What did you learn about yourself through the process? Share your thoughts and stories.

 

Related articles

• Computer glitch delays Nevada jobless benefits (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
• Is Nevada recovering? Depends on who you ask (sfgate.com)
• Is Nevada Recovering? Depends on Who You Ask (abcnews.go.com)
• Sierra resorts wait for snow as Christmas nears (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
• Reno Can Do Better (10march2004.wordpress.com)

2 customer experiences – one week

I rarely have time to shop for myself and when I do, I have high expectations about what my experience should be like. Recently I had two shopping encounters that should have had similar outcomes but in reality, were wildly different.

Experience A: Michael Kors Outlet

What is missing here?

This past January I bought an adorable watch at the Michael Kors outlet in Sparks, Nevada. The associate helping me was wonderful and she helped me pick the perfect watch. I left happy, sporting my watch with the crystal bezel. Life was good!

Fast forward 6 months… one of the crystals magically fell out of the bezel. I was bummed, but didn’t consider it a big deal because I bought a watch from a good company (or so I thought).

When I went back to the store I purchased from and explained what happened, I thought they would repair or replace the damaged watch. After an associate informed me they did not guarantee the crystals and that I should have been more careful with the watch, I began to despair.The manager arrived on the scene to see what she could do (finally someone who might help).

Change is Scary! Welcome it Anyway.

Change in all things is sweet. Aristotle

Dizzy from all the change

Like many of you out there in the blogosphere, I am a creature of habit. Every morning, I wake up at the same time, eat the same breakfast (which right now consists of 1/4cup quinoa, 1/2cup frozen blueberries, almond milk, chia seeds and cinnamon) and brush my teeth.

Next, I get on my computer, check email, read my daily RSS feed and get moving either to work, the gym or on my bicycle. Overall my daily routine is pretty vanilla in that I know what to expect as I begin my routine.

If I’m so darn comfortable, why change anything?

Change is scary, so we seek comfort in the familiar. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being satisfied with what you do and how you do it. Why shake things up when you are on a comfortable ride? The bottom line is change = growth.

Although I am content in my daily grind, I want more. I want to feel as though I am living up to my fullest potential (sounds like a song title) and continue moving forward. Above all, I don’t want to be stagnant.

Can I really have it all?

I am about to find out what I am really made of. Through the years I have continued to surprise myself with what I am capable of. Going back to school in my mid 30′s was terrifying! By completing an undergraduate college education, I added greatly to who I was.

With my family history (parents owned a gift shop where I worked until I was in my 20′s) working in retail leadership seems like a comfortable spot for me. The reality is that I am now switching that up too, as I am transferring to a store which is double the size, sales volume and responsibility.

I keep saying how I have fallen in love with social media and want to pursue a career that encompasses it somehow. Now, I am putting my money where my mouth is (not literally of course. Money is dirty.) and starting an internship for two incredible women (Alice Heiman and Joelle Jay) in Reno, Nevada.

Change = Scary = Exciting

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness.Aristotle

I don’t know if I can do it all without blowing a gasket somehow. I believe the above quote from Aristotle sums it up perfectly. Greatness can be found in madness. I may be crazy trying to do it all, but I could be genius as well. Only time will tell.

 

An Unexpected Leader

Madeline Burak, Miss Reno-Sparks 2011

Where do you find inspiration? I have spent much of my life seeking a magic catalyst for action. So far, I have not found the great discovery of a motivational quick fix, yet I find inspiration in the most unlikely places.

The other night my dear friend’s daughter Madeline, stopped by to borrow some piece of technology from my techie husband Robert. Her intended brief visit lasted over an hour. We discussed many topics including: her starting college in August, living in the dorms, possibly rushing (something I strongly recommend, by the way) and other tidbits of small talk.

Duh! Aren’t you forgetting something?

While we were chatting, I suddenly realized I was forgetting something big that recently transpired! Madeline is no ordinary 18 year old incoming freshman; she holds the title Miss Reno-Sparks. This was the chance I had been waiting for. I had to find out what drove her desire to compete in a pageant?

Nothing to fear? My 1st Video-BLOG #trust30

Sam and I have nothing to fear!

 “Self-censorship is not just self-betrayal and self-abandonment (which would be bad enough), but soul-betrayal and betrayal of our Muse, out inner voice, our highest self.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Drum-roll Please…

OK here goes guys! This is my very first ever video post. I have been dreading it for a couple of months now because I knew that I would eventually have to suck it up and do it. One of the pre-requisites for a summer personal branding class I am enrolled in, is that I post at least 5 video posts before the end of class (sometime in August).

I continue to participate in the #trust30 daily prompts where an Emerson quote is used with a self-reliance prompt attached. This has been a journey deep into my psyche and has really helped me realize how much I have to say/write.

The prompt I chose is about having nothing to lose. How would I behave and what would I say if I let go of self -censorship? I like to think that my  inner monologue keeps me (for the most part anyway) out of trouble. The reality is that I do have things to lose and cannot go around speaking and/or acting out every random thought that comes to mind.

I’m so transparent, you can see right through me!

There is a difference between being transparent and inappropriately giving too much information. Because I choose to live my life authentically, there is really nothing to hide. However, this does not mean I have nothing to lose. If I insult my boss, yell at associates and spit on things when I am mad, I will find myself quickly out of a job. If I am rude to my friends and don’t listen to them when they are speaking because I believe what I have to say is more important, I will soon be friendless.

Tell it like it is, but with a sense of discrepancy. I remain a trusted editor professionally because I am not full of crap. I genuinely care about how I affect others and hopefully believe it. There has never been a reason for my integrity to be doubted, therefore I maintain a valued relationship with my peers and subordinates alike.

My soul is not compromised when I don’t blurt out whatever I want, whenever I want to. Be who you were meant to be. Be authentic, and you will have nothing to fear.

#trust30 prompt: Too often we censor ourselves, our actions, and our work in hope or fear of what might happen if we otherwise don’t. What words would you write today, and what actions would you take, if you had nothing to fear, nothing to lose? (Author: Tanner Christensen)

 Related articles

• Reflections: Nothing To Lose… (eof737.wordpress.com)
• Theology from a Kayak: Learning to Let Go (symphonious.wordpress.com)
• Finding the Extraordinary in the Ordinary (miriamgomberg.wordpress.com)
• A major life goal and the fear surrounding it #trust30 (miriamgomberg.wordpress.com)

A worthwhile day #trust30

enjoying a worthwhile moment on my bike

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let’s face it, there are days which are more worthwhile than others. In the not so recent past, when I felt overly anxious, I would drown out melancholy sitting for hours playing Farmville (nothing worthwhile in the activity). I played until it was dark outside.  Effectively I ignored my family for hours, and was no less stressed as a result of fake farming.

What I consider worthwhile

Prior to beginning the arduous task of completing an MBA while working full time, I frequented the gym an average of 4-5 times per week. Exercising not only helped maintain a healthy body, but it was also a great tension-reliever.

When it warmed outside, my pigtails and lavender helmet were instantly recognizable as I rode my bike around town. I rode with my husband Robert and/or my friends for 40-50 mile rides several times per week. My favorite route began at our house in South Reno and meandered alongside I-80 to Verdi, Nevada. On the trip home we would stop for iced coffee and bask in the glory of our successful excursion.

Whose fault is it anyway?

Fault and Change by Carlos Miceli

I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of all the things that are not working in your life. That job you don’t like, that relationship that’s not working, those friends that annoy you. Now turn them all on you. Imagine that everything that’s not working in your life, is your fault. How would you approach it? What would you work on to change your life to the state that you want it to be? (Author: Carlos Miceli)

pouty pity party face

If your life isn’t what you want it to be, whose fault is it? (aka welcome to the pity party)

•  Maybe it is due to your parents shortcomings you have it so bad. After all, they raised you and gave you a sense of right and wrong.
• What about your (so-called) friends? Are they jealous of you and venture to sabotage your life by annoying you?
• Your husband/wife/significant other may be bringing you down. It is your job to create his/her/its happiness.
• Definitely your job’s fault. Whenever things go wrong there is always someone above or below who we can blame.
• They could all be trying to get you (sound paranoid yet?)

A hard pill to swallow

Time for a reality check. I know you may not believe this or want to hear it, but only you are responsible for your life and happiness! Years of therapy and self-reflection taught me that I am only responsible for my actions and how I react to others. That is life’s dirty secret in a nutshell.

It may sound scary at first, but actually it is quite empowering when you understand that you drive your own bus. You are not a helpless victim, but a powerful individual who is capable of many great things. If your life sucks, do something about it!

How important are your looks?

How do I look?

Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

How important are your looks? Do you spend hours each day ensuring not one hair is out of place? Will you be seen at the grocery store without makeup? Or do you just roll out of bed and put on whatever smells the least?

At some level, we all follow a dress code (and I hope hygiene) every day at work, play or just lounging at home. Self-esteem is linked to how you think others perceive you. When you are shopping in a store, chances are that if you walk into a shop wearing mismatched pajamas, you probably will have little luck getting service. Like it or not, how you dress matters.

Challenge!

Now for the hard stuff! As a mom, leader, and a woman over 40, I tend to dress a certain way. I don’t resemble a frump muffin and I don’t want to look as though I have taken over my daughter’s closet either. For this prompt, I wanted to get way out of my comfort zone by dressing like a hooker on 4th Street (a Reno thing).

A major life goal and the fear surrounding it #trust30

a daily reminder for a major life goal

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is #trust30 and why did I pledge to complete it?

Throughout the past month, I have taken part in a 30 day online writing challenge which has forced me to search with a new-found intensity within myself while learning to trust what I discover. The daily theme revolves around self-reliance and each writing prompt tested me (sometimes at an uncomfortable level) to dig deeper into my soul.

Why participate? I thought it looked like fun and with the summer (mostly) free from school, it would keep my brain active. Also, with me getting so close to graduation (December 2011, YAY!) I thought it might help me learn to focus on what I really want to achieve in my life.

That being said, here is my answer to the latest prompt…

#trust30 Reach out and connect

nice to meet you.

eeny meeny miney moe…

There are many people that I would love to meet. I want to keep it real so rather than spending too much time sitting and thinking about who I want to contact, I picked the first person who came to mind: Alice Heiman in Reno, NV. I have never met Alice but have heard tremendous things about her. She was mentioned by 2 people in the past week as someone I should meet, and my curiosity is peaked to say the least.

why oh why?

Why set an appointment and meet with someone new? I can think of several reasons. Here are a few:

1. Why not?
2. We both love sales! She is a sales expert and keynote speaker, and I am a customer experience connoisseur.
3. I love meeting new people and want to build a stronger local network.
4. As I near completion of my MBA, it is important that I focus on what I want to do after graduation.
5. We both blog (common interests are a plus)
6. We both live in Reno.
7. We have friends in common.
8. She looks friendly in her picture.
9. Nothing will come to pass if I don’t make it happen.
10. Because I can!

I am sure there are many other reasons for me to call Alice and chat with her, but I thought that ten looked like a nice round number. Now that I have an idea of what I want to do, it is time for me to dig in and get busy!

Stay tuned…

The journey continues!

 

Today’s #Trust 30 prompt: Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Who is one person that you’ve been dying to connect with, but just haven’t had the courage to reach out to? First, reflect on why you want to get in touch with them. Then, reach out and set up a meeting.

(Author: David Spinks)