“What’s in it for me?” A lesson in how not to network

is it me?

Is it me?

Network: A group or system of interconnected things or people. Oxford English Dictionary

 

What is it with some people? After a strange encounter with a local vendor today, I was compelled to look up the actual definition of the word network. Trade events are generally more appealing when complementary businesses are involved.

I think of it as having fries with your meal, peanut butter with your chocolate, necklace with a dress, etc. In other words, networking adds pizazz to the party. Without collaboration, business functions can be one-dimensional and drab.

As a customer experience manager, I prefer partnering with local vendors for events. Is there a more effective way (and inexpensive) to mutually benefit businesses? This uncertainty brought me to the next helpful definition brought by businessballs.com

Mutual benefit (or mutual gain) is a common feature in successful networking – and this is a powerful underpinning principle to remember when building and using your own networking methods. It is human nature, and certainly a big factor in successful networking, for an action to produce an equal and opposite reaction. Effort and reward are closely linked.

here’s the story morning glory

One of the fun parts of my career is planning and executing store events. At the time, it seemed reasonable that I would canvass the shopping center looking for possible partners. They could provide coupons or brochures for display, donate for a customer raffle, send a representative to the event, all of the above, some of the above (you get the picture).

It was blustery and frigid outside as I trekked through the parking lot when I walked into the first shop. I explained my purpose to the owner/manager and was eagerly anticipating her reply. When she finally spoke, it was not what I expected to hear. She said, “What’s in it for me?”

Really?? Was I hearing things? What did she think was in it for her? CUSTOMERS!

Just to make sure, I wasn’t taking crazy pills, I said, “excuse me?” She then repeated herself as I gaped in horror. I informed the woman she didn’t have to oblige if it was inconvenient. It was only a thought that through her submitting a coupon/donation/whatever, she may be able to make a business connection through our customer base.

silly me

Why did she believe I was trying to do something to her rather than for her?  Why couldn’t she see the mutual benefit proposed? ROI can easily be tracked by the number of coupons redeemed after the event.

To tell the truth, the wind fizzled out of my sails and I wanted to turn on my heel and escape from this un-savvy businesswoman. As visions of running out the door screaming and pulling my hair out (OK maybe this is a little bit of an over-dramatization) she realized her foible and pulled a small stack of coupons from a drawer.

She handed the precious slips of paper over the counter. There was no need to scream as the wind was shrieking for me. Surely she had no idea what reaction her action caused in me. After the encounter, my mojo was gone and I simply drove home.

lesson learned: I’m still not sure

The lesson that comes to mind is to do business with people who want to work with you. When you find someone who is not interested, keep moving forward. Don’t let the bitter betties get you down. Save it for someone who appreciates you and what you can do for them.

 

 

 

 

another customer experience lesson (part 2)

Last week, after sitting through one of my evening classes, I knew there was a blog post/story that was emerging. What I didn’t realize is that one of the people who would read the subsequent post was the professor from the story. This became apparent when I received an email from her the day after my post was published.

I'm so embarrassed.

Can you see me crawling under the table here?

When I  opened and read her email, I was horrified and embarrassed. What would this mean for my grade? (payback can be a #$^@) No one likes to hear feedback and I did not want to come across as cruel. I really do admire this teacher and with an ESFJ personality, it is important for me to be liked in return. Continue reading

Watch Your (SM)Manners: VLOG#4

How well do you watch your manners?

There are a variety of signals that you need to learn/improve social media manners. This post was inspired by the #smmanners twitter chat held each Tuesday at 7pm PST. Following, is a short list of traits leading to poor manners.

  1. Are you a spambot?  If you have no tweets listed, follow lots of tweeps, and have no followers of your own, you probably are a bot. But then again, bots don’t really care that they are inhuman.
  2. Are you guilty of auto-DM’ing your twitter followers? No one is really sure why people do this, as it is so impersonal and rude. an auto-DM is essentially junk-mail or a form letter which usually leads to being un-followed on twitter (by me and many others!)
  3. Do you rarely if ever retweet others posts? You should make it a regular habit to engage with others by retweeting. It is considered good manners to retweet (RT)  tweets when you like what they are saying. It sends a signal to the original author that you enjoy what they post.
  4. Are you only interested in seeing your Klout score rise and rarely if ever engage with others? Don’t get me wrong, I like to see my Klout score rise too, but not at the expense of being inauthentic (there is that pesky theme again).

If you answered yes to any of these questions, chances are you could use some polish to your manners. At work, are you genuinely greeting customers? Do you truly listen to their desires and fulfill their needs?

Unfortunately, there is no magic words that can make  a rude ill-mannered person care and try to change his ways. The reality is, we can all learn to be more sensitive of others feelings both in real life and in the virtual world of social media.

Build business loyalty for the future #trust30

the sky is the limit

The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What if today, right now, no jokes at all, you were actually in charge, the boss, the Head Honcho. Write the “call to arms” note you’re sending to everyone (staff, customers, suppliers, Board) charting the path ahead for the next 12 months and the next 5 years. Now take this manifesto, print it out somewhere you can see, preferably in big letters you can read from your chair.

You’re just written your own job description. You know what you have to do. Go! (bonus: send it to the CEO with the title “The things we absolutely have to get right – nothing else matters.”) Author: Sasha Dichter

First a quick trip down memory lane

Let me start by saying I was the head-honcho, boss, etc. and it was not always so much fun. I owned and operated a bridal boutique for nearly 15 years (I worked for free for more than one of these years). Maybe it was because like most small businesses, I was usually cash poor, but as hard as I worked, it never seemed enough.

Don’t get me wrong, there were some terrific perks to being the boss which included: business paid my car and insurance payment, my hours were flexible, and I got to travel to different locales for buying trips. Basically, I did everything on my own terms. Continue reading

Ralph Waldo Emerson: Self Reliance Prompt #11

Surprise by Ashley Ambirge

breaking the bonds of bridal

I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of a time when you didn’t think you were capable of doing something, but then surprised yourself.  How will you surprise yourself this week?

(Author: Ashley Ambirge)

Sob story :(

Imagine this picture: I had just closed my business two months ago and was hanging out at the gym every day. I did not know which direction to turn, as I felt completely lost, as if my legs had been cut out from under me. For the past 15 years, I was identified as the owner of a thriving bridal shop in Reno Nevada. Now I was just another loser sitting at home feeling sorry for herself.

My husband Robert knew that if he didn’t act quickly, I might stay in this funk for a long time to come. At the time I was seeing a therapist (I am not embarrassed to admit this. I needed the help at the time) and Robert went to a session with me to discuss next steps for. Robert brought up the idea of me going back to school. Don’t get me wrong, I was not totally opposed to the idea, but I had just closed a major chapter in my life and wanted to de-compress for a while longer.

What what what?

 Half-expecting my therapist to side with me  on starting a new life at a later point in time, he totally threw me under the bus when he agreed with Robert that I needed to start school ASAP. They both felt (and I later agreed, but much later) the best thing for me was to dive in with both feet. The new semester was beginning in one week. I hadn’t registered for any classes, but that was not an obstacle either. I was not only expected to go to school, but crash classes in order to get in. Could this get much worse?

Surprise!

The first day of school rolled in, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. At the time I was 37 years old. How was I expected to sit in a class full of 18 year old kids? Fear was about to overtake me when Robert reached out and told me to get in the car; he was driving me to the first class. Robert guessed there was a 50% chance I would actually go to class. By taking and sitting with me, I had no choice.

What I didn’t expect was to love school from the start. I felt a great surge in energy from this new found passion. No longer some loser alone in the world, I was a college student. Fast forward three years later, and I walked as a college graduate. I did not think it was ever going to happen for, and had accepted my fate. Giving up the chance to complete my degree when I was younger, that chapter had closed permanently (or had it really?).

As a result of that fateful day in the therapist’s office, I was able to do something I never thought possible. Further education was next for me. Upon graduation, I immediately entered the MBA program at the university. I knew if I didn’t dive right in, I might never go back again. Another three years has gone by and now the MBA will be complete in December. Pretty good for someone that didn’t think it possible to even sit in a college class again.

Next surprise?

OK, now I am being challenged to surprise myself this week. After graduation, I want to work somewhere in social media. I will surprise myself by again jumping in with both feet and find a way to incorporate my customer experience knowledge and people skills and my love for social media into a career. Let’s see what happens when I put myself out there to the universe. If I can go back to school, get 2 degrees in 6 years, I can do anything.