“Today is the first day of the rest of your existential crisis.”
— John McGill
Do I matter? Why am I obsessed with this? In an ongoing quest for spirituality, I continually return to the same question. Would it be a serious search if I didn’t ponder the meaninglessness of life?
Hmm…Perhaps I’m in an existential crisis.
Existential CrisisA deep, obsessive concern with unanswered questions about the meaning of life and existence, resulting in the disruption of one’s daily life and characterized by long or short-lasting bouts of apathy and depression.“Dude, what’s up with Steve?”
“He’s been reading a lot of Nietzsche and watching How the Universe Works on the Discovery Channel, now he’s having an existential crisis.”
Realizing the sun doesn’t rise and/or set around me, I’m not sure where I fit in? I am an eeny-teeny-itsy-witsy-bitsy blip on the radar. But does that make me completely insignificant? Blips have feelings too.
why does it matter if I matter?
The real question is, do I matter to me? If in the end there is only self, It should not make one bit of difference whether I am important to anyone else.
The existential self really makes sense to me. Through self awareness, we are able to make choices that affect our lives. Having a strong internal locus of control, I am not a victim of circumstance but a player in my own life.
Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.
It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.
― Jean-Paul Sartre
Anxiety is unavoidable. It comes from fear of life, death, choices, isolation etc. Should I embrace uncertainty instead and simply accept its existence? Perhaps it is after anxiety is acknowledged, I can move past it.
an authentic lifestyle
If I can’t be me, I don’t want to be anybody. In an attempt to live up to others expectations, my authentic self is smothered.
Life choices are mine. If I am living and loving authentically, there is no self abandonment, which is what brought me to this search for spirituality in the first place.
I have an intense desire to be heard. Is this due to an existential malaise or because I want to make a difference somewhere? (or is it the same thing?) Is there something I should be saying?
Oy! I almost forgot about the authentic self for a moment. Old habits die hard.
An acquaintance related this blog to a form of prayer in that I find writing cathartic. I wonder if it is a way for me to fill a spiritual void?
So far, this exploration into the depths of spirituality has given me more questions than answers. Will I ever uncover life’s meaning? I like thinking that it is up to me to determine my own significance.
Have you ever encountered an existential crisis? Share your thoughts and stories.
- Why I’ve stopped writing: An Existential Crisis (bakingbutterhappiness.wordpress.com)
- Liddell’s Guide to Existential Crises (teacuptapirs.wordpress.com)
- Existential Crisis and the Disappearance of Truth (spokennature.wordpress.com)
- Mid Life Crisis Versus Existential Crisis (midlifeexistentialcrisis.wordpress.com)
- Jean Paul Sartre’s ‘Existentialism is a Humanism’: A Critical Reading (luchte.wordpress.com)
- An Existential Crisis (chewingmyfruit.wordpress.com)