Linking to Mama Kat’s weekly writing prompt has become a staple for more than a year (hard to believe). Because I make things exceedingly more difficult than necessary, I choose prompts based on gut instinct.
The more visceral the better. If it is undemanding, is it worth the effort? This week was no different. I had to look deep into my life to discover the answer.
2.) Share one of your “did that really just happen to me” life moments.
I actually do choose topics that challenge me. However, this prompt tests my ability to contain it to only one moment.
I am not madcap I Love Lucy nuts. although I aspire to her zany TV character. My “did that really just happen to me” moments are a product of an almost complete lack of inner monologue.
Think then speak? Ha! Most of the time, the opposite is true. By the time I realize someone’s reaction to my verbal diarrhea (actual term I didn’t invent) , it is too late. Damage done. Oops. My bad.
I feel a list coming…
Since I can’t decide which is the most embarrassing, here comes the list. I will let you decide.
- toilet paper stuck to shoe countless times (yawn)
- sat down and pants ripped in the crotchal region at least twice (double yawn)
- showed up to an appointment (doctor or otherwise) on the wrong date, wrong time or both (waah whaa whaa)
Now that you are probably thoroughly bored, here come the real gems.
1. At a previous job, I was helping a really cute guy with a hot accent (don’t remember where from. sorry) find something new to wear. He was unsure if the shirt was something he could pull off. I reassured about the store return policy, I said, “we don’t beat you up too bad if you return it.” (not the moment yet) then …
I continued after a short pause to say,”unless you want us to.” I think he turned a shade of crimson from that comment. BUT WAIT!!
After an equally short pause, I followed up with, “and then we charge extra.” Can you say Freudian slip? I just kept talking and hoped he didn’t notice my inappropriate comment (not likely).
2. Another moment occurred at the same job. One day when I was on a break trying on a top I wanted to buy, I came out to model for a coworker. It was was a stretchy modal jersey knit thing with a scoop neck. Great layering piece.
Back on topic now. Still in the top, a customer came in and asked me some random question I don’t remember now. Maybe he wanted a fitting room.
Anyways, I spent the next five minutes or so assisting him. No biggie. I would change into my own clothes when he was done. After the customer left, I stopped to say something to my coworker when I glanced for the first time into a mirror.
OOFFF. The top was trapped in my bra. I was unknowingly strutting around completely exposed. Only then was I a little embarrassed. I hope he got a good show. Funny thing is I can’t remember if he even made a purchase. (irrelevant I know).
3. Last moment I promise! I was at the movie theater with Robert for the midnight release of the Matrix 3. Being fans of the first two, it was a must-see.
What a boring horrible movie. Anything cool, endearing, interesting, etc flew out the window with this one. As much as I wanted to like it, I couldn’t.
During the longest most drawn out scene ever in my existence (dramatic license taken here) when Neo’s girlfriend Trinity was dying, I almost lost it. I mean, really?? How long would it take for her to die and the movie to end?
The scene was meant to be sad. It may have been for some until I blurted loudly, “Why won’t she just die already.” I didn’t realize how clearly audible I was until a roar of laughter and applause erupted from the audience.
I said what they were all thinking. It really was that boring. Feh. Who cares if I had no control over the volume of my voice at that very instant. Life went on and the movie finally ended with a happy ending (yay).
What are your “did that really happen to me” life moments? Are they life-scarringly embarrassing? Like me, do you shake it off and move on? Share your best moments.