How many friends do you have? Are you the popular chick who attracts everyone? Perhaps, instead of personal intimacy, you crave aloneness (probably not a word, but it should be).
Of these, how many (or not so) people, would you count in your inner circle? What is this inner circle? Be honest here! There are no wrong answers. Like art, the answer is not self-evident.
what makes a bestie
On the friend spectrum, I rest somewhere in the middle. I am fairly likeable and enjoy the company of others. As a true ESFJ, I crave human contact on several levels.
Just because I like people, doesn’t mean I immediately place everyone on my bestie list. Acquaintance honors are given freely, but a coveted spot as a BFF must be earned.
If placement is merited, what is the criteria involved? Since I love lists, I compiled a checklist for BFF attributes. Yay!
drum roll please…
- gender is irrelevant. Maybe it is been too long since watching When Harry Met Sally, but I believe men and women can be friends without one or the other wanting to become sexual. Opinions?
- shared interests. I don’t expect all my friends to be mirror images. Differences intrigue me. However, what would we talk about without any similarities.
- leave judgment at the door. This goes both ways. My besties are confidantes who know me better than anyone. True friends accept unconditionally.
- throws fear out the window. The reality is we all fear something. It is OK to admit fear. I admire people who stand up to it and live despite obstacles.
- fun people. Boring people suck. Enough said.
- once a bestie, always a bestie? The term BFF stands for best friend forever. However, it also translates to best bitch friend. Once a bitch…
- can a BFF be shared with other besties? I don’t see why not. Friend circles (inner circle or otherwise) are circular because relationships can be shared. Seriously, I pulled that answer out of the air. Sounds pretty good though.
- how will I know if I am a BFF? The obvious BFF gifts are customary but not required. Matching tee shirts (except tees that read, ” I’m with stupid” with an arrow attached) necklaces, iPhone covers or friendship bracelets are all suitable examples.
- what if I give a BFF gift and you don’t reciprocate? This is truly a smartass question and not one worthy of a true bestie. No trust, no BFF.
- am I a bestie if I don’t wear or use the BFF gift? Geez! Enough with the gift. This is why it is an accepted practice but not required. I tend to overthink things and totally understand and appreciate others who do as well. So, in reality, you are probably still my bestie with or without the matching necklace.
Some besties live near and others live across the world. I have BFF’s whom I speak with weekly, monthly, yearly or whenever our paths cross. Frequency is not as important as quality exchanges.
What is your opinion of best friends or just friends in general? Do you have your own list of BFF qualities? How many prerequisites must I pass in order to join the ranks? How about matching swag?
Share your thoughts, stories, lists, etc. I included some pics with some of my besties. If I missed a selfie moment with a bestie, I apologize profusely. Maybe I can make it up to you with a matching BFF necklace.